Did anyone miss me?? I'm sure that no one miss me here, it's because no one knows about this blog 'cept me. Quite ironic isn't it?? Why do I blog these thoughts of mine when I don’t want to share it. Maybe because I’m scared of what other people may think of me. And I’m even not at ease when somebody is angry at me, especially when I love that person so much, I can't stand the fact the he/she is angry of me, that is why I do everything I can to make my life or relationship less troublesome as possible, I don’t want to be involved in any conflicts. But the fact is I can’t really do that, I mean I can’t make conflicts in life disappear. It is by conflicts that people grow and it is by conflicts that people learn experience from.
Last night my girlfriend was angry at me, she was so mad that I didn’t get the chance to know what it that I did wrong is. I only want to play a game for a short time then i could get back on texting her. I played the game then it all happened, it’s like I lit a fuse that made her explode, maybe my timing of asking permission to play was way off maybe that is the reason why she is angry at me. I don’t know, I couldn’t tell she was so pissed I don’t know what I'll say to calm her down. All I ask was a little time, a little understanding on her part. And I’m not saying any negative feedback to her but she's putting words on my mouth. I love her too much that I don’t think of the things she said to me. I sure hope that she realize that I love her unconditionally whatever her traits are, whatever imperfections she have and whatever she think of me last night..... I love her just the same.
There’s no such thing as a perfect relationship. Popular culture likes to insist that there is, be it in books, comics, movies, or some other form of media. The reality, of course, is that relationships do have conflicts sooner or later; the real question isn’t so much how long until one hit that conflict, but rather how the people involved then deal with its resolution. I surely hope we can find a solution for this problem soon.
langga I love u poh (--,)
Work was so tiring today, when the first hour elapsed I’ve only closed two email job orders. Then I said to myself “Oh no, it’s going to be a long day.” I have to closed out at least 20 emails and by the rate that I’m going I can see that I can’t make it. Then I remembered what I was doing last night, I was watching a movie from my PC and texting a friend, then I felt uneasy and excited that I need finish work today and text her again. For some reason that thought made me inspired to work faster and like a lunatic on the loose I closed 14 job orders before lunch time. I was thinking “did I really do that?” It seems like I missed this girl so much that I need to go home and text her. (--,)
Today I’m reminiscing the old days. How I wish I could go back to high school to straighten some of the crooked paths I chose, and to bend some of the straight path I have chosen... hahaha! But altogether I’m satisfied by the things that I’ve done so far in my life. Made a few friends and even fewer enemies, the lesser my enemies are the more my life becomes less complicated. As much as possible I don’t want people to be involved in my complicated life (sounds introvert isn’t it) but the fact is I can’t always do that, I will always need somebody by my side when going gets tough, a shoulder lean on to those unexpected trials of life, someone who would inspire to do great things. How I wish I could finally meet her….. (--,)
Last January 16 was the opening salvo of the Dinagyang, I usually don’t watch live it on the streets, and I would rather see it at home because it is so hot whenever they do the event. What was amazing on that day was the weather, it was gloomy but not raining, I call this a perfect weather for me to go out. So I decided to go out but it was not my intention to watch the opening salvo, I have to go out because I have to buy a sweater because it is very cold nowadays and a new pair of shoe. It was around noon when I got out and people around are very busy, maybe they’re anticipating the opening salvo of Dinagyang. I didn’t notice the time, I was too busy looking for clothes and shoes. When I finally got out of the department store the streets were already closed, just like the old days I have to walk my way through to streets to reach the house. During my high school days whenever it is the opening salvo of Dinagyang, I have to walk my way from the school to my house. It’s about four or five kilometers of walking. Although it’s quite far it’s not that tiring because many people are also walking alongside with you and you fell safe because there are policemen patrolling every streets in the city. So there I was stuck with no passenger jeepney around, then when I got off to main road, I heard drums beating, a familiar drum rolling I’ve heard when I was in high school. Then I saw many people gathering up in an intersection. I knew that the intersection was one of the judging areas of the Dinagyang contest. Out of curiosity I walk towards the judging area and when I finally got into a sweet spot the performance of the tribe was over (--,) darn it…. Hehehe.. But I was patient enough to wait for the next tribe to perform knowing that all tribes will pass through this judging area.
Then my eyes have gone wide open, couldn’t believe what I’m seeing. The tribe that was about to perform was the tribe that I have participated in during my high school (not as a dancer but as one of the props men). It was Tribu Bola-Bola, I have always thought that they have already given up joining the Dinagyang contest which made me feel sad. The tribe got its name from the entrance gate of our school; at the entrance gate you will see two round balls at the top of the two pillars. During the high school days they would always win the Dinagyang contest that is why I wanted to join with them even though I not a good dancer. I was reminiscing how it felt when I was with them. It involves a lot of sacrifice just to dance for Sr. Santo Niño.
They have a multi-colored Mohawk wig which made smile when I first saw it. Then I also saw familiar faces, the tribe trainer, the teachers and the tribe manager, I know all their duties and position but I forgot their names hehehe. Then I watch them perform their routine street dance, but knowing Tribu Bola-Bola they won’t give out any secret dance routine that they will do during the Dinagyang contest. When I was watching them I’ve felt very excited to see what surprises they have in stored for the contest proper. They always have surprises during their performance which made them won 3 times in a row which make them a hall of famer to the Dinagyang Contest. This is why I love Dinagyang so much, every year there will always be new things to see and new things to tell about.
It's a New Year and after a few weeks of rest, Dinagyang Fever is on! It’s an event that most of the Ilonggos are waiting for. I'm proud to be an Ilonggo because of this event, normally I would sell Dinagyang to those who hasn’t experienced it yet. Many people think that it is a religious affair, but I see it otherwise, for me Dinagyang is a cultural event, although the heart of the celebration is in honor of our Patron Saint Sr. Santo Niño. Okay, I take back what I have written a few sentences ago it is both cultural and religious affair. But it doesn’t mean that a religious organization would limit their members not to watch such event. Think of it as a cultural presentation, a cultural contest, surely, Filipino as we are, we are proud of our rich culture which distinguishes as from other countries. I don’t want to sound nationalistic about this but I don’t see the reason why you can’t go and watch Dinagyang. I may sound against your order but this is what I feel about the situation and whatever beliefs that you have I gladly accept it and honor it. I know that you do it for the greater good and for discipline and above all for God. Let’s not forget though that your God is my God too, though we praise and follow Him differently. Let’s not forget we are all under one sky, all under one moon, and all under one heaven (--,) and governed by only one God! (--,)
Reminds of a story that i have heard from one of the sermon of Fr. Balete on a requiem mass, the story goes like this; (If my memory serves me right, we were having a mass with people who have different religion)
“There was once an Elephant and three blind men, the blind men approach the elephant with eagerness to know what is the amazing thing that an elephant can offer. And so the first blind man approaches the trunk and said “hmmm, the elephant is widest thing I’ve ever felt.” The second blind man heard what the first one said, and began approaching the elephant on his tusk. “Whoa,” says he, “but the elephant is the sharpest thing that I have ever felt.” Upon hearing different version of the two blind men, the third approaches the elephant on his tail with enthusiasm. “I bid to disagree” he said, “but the elephant is the longest thing I’ve ever felt.” There was misunderstanding among the three blind men. No one was really sure if who among them was right, although they were referring to the same elephant.
For me the moral of the story is that although we all have different religion, we praise and we value the same God who loves peace in this world. All the three blind men rely on their perception and on their senses to know what an elephant is, in the same way we rely on our faith and on our religion to know who God really is. But the bottom-line that I would like to reiterate is that everyone is right on their way and on their own understanding. We serve and we follow the same God who loves us all and that is all that matters. (--,) This is how I see things I could be wrong but you have to admit that I do have a point right? Some thoughts to fonder...
Ever since childhood I have encountered such word, a word that frightens the young and the olds. But is it really true? Does bewitchment exist in this advance age?
I have to admit I was once a believer of this unexplainable and sometimes funny belief of the olds. And I have experienced a situation they called “barang”. “Barang” is a coined term for a bewitchment which uses insect or live small animals. A witch (Mangkukulam) uses these small animals or insects into what they call a Voodoo doll, the Voodoo doll represents the victim’s body. For example a witch puts an insect on the doll, the so-called effect is that the victim will have the same insect inside his/her own body. These are the information I have known so far. From my own experience, way back in my elementary days, Mom was a believer of these things. So I have to abide with every little thing that she says, “put on some “luya” so that “aswang” will not harm you.” It came to a point that he have sent me to a quack doctor, although at a very young age, I was mature enough to know what was going on. And I know how that quack doctor ripped some good amount of money from us. I have a bad leg that day, didn’t know what happened, and I was in school. I have to plead to my teacher that I have to go home early, I can’t even walk straight. When I got home with watery eyes, my mom asks what happened and I couldn’t explain why I had a bad leg. She immediately said let’s go a quack doctor. She was so naive and superstitious that time, she also believed that our school was the home of the fairies and goblins. Then with a blink of an eye we were on the quack doctor’s place. We have to wait for our turn because there were many people waiting on cue. So I said business must be good for the quack doctor. I waited anxiously on my seat and I could see what the quack doctor is doing to some of his patients. He has a piece of skinned “luya” (ginger) on his hands holding it with his fingers, what I notice is that he blows it three times before he applies it to the patient forehead, making a sign of the cross. So I thought that this quack doctor is a Christian as well, not! Then It was finally my turn, same ritual was performed with regards to the other patients. He blown the ginger thrice and made a sign of the cross on my forehead. He closed his eyes and put his hands on my leg, and he said that I have a “barang” I was stunned. He closed his eyes one more time and began piercing his hand into my legs, and to my surprise I saw a small insect drawn from my leg, I was not able to explain how did that happen, maybe I wasn’t paying attention to his hands because he is somehow tickling me. And to my astonishment, the pain in my leg was gone when he had removed that insect out of my leg. Then I can walk straight again. Right then and there I was a believer of “kulam” it is not easy to make me believe on something, but at that moment I have to admit I was one of the believers of “kulam.” Mom was so happy when she saw that I could walk straight again. After that short session of bloodless operation mom paid the quack doctor and we went home. Back at home I wondered how did that happen, how that insect came inside my leg. I tried to look for any logical or scientific reasons for the things that happened. And I couldn’t find any answers to my question, so I said to myself during that time, “maybe it’s true, maybe “kulam” does exist”.
But I refuse to believe on something that is not founded by logical or scientific reasons. The only things that I believe in are the miracles of Jesus. It is by my faith that I believe in Jesus. The only powerful being that ever step unto this planet. You may say that this belief is not founded by science or by any logical reasons but then again science or logic has its own flaws. Surely it would be a chaotic world if this witchcraft thing is present in this modern society. I wonder why these quack doctors are not rich when they are accepting payments for the things that they are doing. The same can be said on witch who does witchcraft for a profit. Someone hires a witch to make their enemies suffer, this is in Philippines settings. My mom back in those days was a believer of “kulam”, and I have been to different kinds of quack doctors, each has their own specialization, I might say. There is one who uses chicken to drive off evil spirits in the house. And there is one who has different voices coming out from his mouth. The most ridiculous of them all was a quack doctor, who said to come to his place at night, and bring cooked foods for the spirits, and we did bring him foods, which the spirit ate, I mean he as the spirit ate. I can clearly see how this can be very profitable if I could charm anyone that I can see spirits. And they charge as high as a medical surgeon would ask for. And as the years go by, nothing happened to the prediction of those quack doctors, and I know from the start they were just racketeering. And as I became more independent with my decision, every time that I got sick I would not listen to my mom encouraging me to go back to a quack doctor. Then she eventually gave up, and believes in my beliefs that there is no “kulam” out here in the city. But I’m still not sure whether “kulam” exist in this advanced age.
In my own personal opinion, these beliefs may seem to be old and out of date but it still horrifies many individuals. And this horror is further amplified because of many horrifying movies. The message I would love to convey is that people may have different experience on this “kulam” phenomenon, and it’s up to them to believe or not. But either way, it is best to stay alert and vigilant on such things, better to follow the things that the grown ups says. They have live longer than us because of what they believe in. But I tell you now, if you have faith in our God, your fears will be gone. In times of great fear and worries, my friend told me, always recite psalm 23 and after a few repetition of that verse I feel I can conquer the world for God is with me. So I ask again… does kulam exist?? I don’t think so… because God is with me. =))
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